zahnegott-lives:

little slavic man

(via jellys)

brendanicus:

Putting this in a Tumblr-friendly format

(via peggycarterisbetterthanme)

thestarvedghost:

Just heard someone say “30 years ago, in 1993,” and stopped what I was doing. I froze. What do you mean 1993 was 30 years ago. That’s illegal

(via moltenghost)

fullmetalfisting:

beemovieerotica:

unfriendlyblackwitch:

anarchapella:

Please fucking lie to your employer. Like they don’t need to know your mental health issues or what drugs you do. Ffs

its not lying if its to employers or cops

and look up ur rights on what they can and cannot ask u many places ban asking about ur record and transportation status and things like that resources will also tell u how they reword sketchy questions so ur prepared

here’s a quick guide for Americans with very common interview questions I’ve been asked:

• 🚫 illegal: how old are you?
• ⚠️ dicey: what year did you graduate?
• ✅ legal: are you 18 or older?
• 🚫 illegal: do you have kids?
• ⚠️ dicey: what responsibilities do you have at home?
• ✅ legal: can you adhere to this schedule?
• 🚫 illegal: do you have a disability or are you mentally ill?
• ⚠️ dicey: is there anything we should know about you that would interfere with your job?
• ✅ legal: can you perform these specific (named and described) duties?
• 🚫 illegal: have you ever been arrested?
• ⚠️ dicey: would you like to tell us about any problems you’ve had with the law?
• ✅ legal in 37 states: have you ever been convicted of a crime?

I recently filled out an application that asked me what kinds of medication I was on. Naturally, I said I wasn’t on any because. That’s so illegal.

Lie on your job applications.

(via motherhenna)

realanimalfacts:

11. A ladybug is too small to operate a forklift.

(via rickycat)

cognitohazardous:

evilvillain123456789:

driving 90 minutes to my favorite empty lot to smoke 1 cigarette

then its literally not you girl

(via goblinelly)

reasoncourt:

god forbid women do anything

(via iknewiwouldregretthis)

toothcereal:

exprophet:

toothcereal:

enough about man made horrors… what about the man made glories

ibuprofen 

yeah ibuprofen exactly

(via iknewiwouldregretthis)

porcelain-animatronic:

fecto:

fecto:

people who are like “oh but you can just buy x thing online” are missing the point. its about the joy and journey

“just find it on amazon” what next. do you want me to throw rocks at babies too

This made me think of the thing Kurt Vonnegut said about buying envelops

(via coffin-flop)

loverbearbutch:

i’m both dumber and smarter than you think so don’t underestimate me because i’m actually smart about a lot of stuff but also don’t be surprised if i’m dumb about some other stuff hope that helps

(via twerkinshield)

assiraphales:

a five year old had my phone & this is what he searched

(via mybeautifulbeautifulponds)

wahbegan:

markv5:

Планы на вечер….

“Plans for the evening”

(via bbreaddog)

postsentiment:

i love you daylight savings time i love you sunset after 7pm i love you vitamin d i love you springtime

(via goblinelly)

geeseareassholes:

segretecose:

i must not afternoon nap. afternoon nap is the mind-killer. afternoon nap is the little death that brings total obliteration. i will face my afternoon sleepy tired and permit it to pass over and through me. and when it has gone i will turn the inner eye to see its path. where the afternoon sleepy tired has gone there will be nothing. only i will remain

I MUST NOT AFTERNOON NAP. AFTERNOON NAP IS THE MIND KILLER

(via moooogan)

depsidase:

(via randomfatechidna)